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Topic: Were you touched by an angel?

+Honest Trü Lawyer3 months ago #49,440

Hello, I'm an honest trü lawyer, and if you were touched by an angel, you need to call today. Consultation is free, and there is obligation. I will bring these angels to justice. We will show them that the law will not allow angels to run amuck touching children. Moar and moar people are coming forward with confessions of being touched, groped, fondled, and otherwise harassed by angels. Now is your chance to get in on this opportunity. Remember, the call is free, the consultation is free, and there is no obligation. Call or click today.

Honest Trü Lawyer

(Edited 2 minutes later.)

+Anonymous B3 months ago, 3 hours later[T] [B] #534,652

Do you also handle cases involving fallen angels and descendants of the nephilim?

·Honest Trü Lawyer (OP) — 3 months ago, 9 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[T] [B] #534,657

@previous (B)

Any supernatural entities, really.

·Anonymous B3 months ago, 2 hours later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #534,670

@previous (Honest Trü Lawyer)

Do you also do pest control? We've had a gawhtdayum sasqautch sum'bitch squatting on our land.

I'll PM you the details about the other possible case. They're fairly high up in the angelic hierarchy and any suit brought against them will ruffle a few feathers. Best to know if the case has a chance before leaking anything about it publicly.

+Anonymous C3 months ago, 10 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #534,672

I would like to state for the record that it was not consensual.

·Honest Trü Lawyer (OP) — 3 months ago, 22 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #534,673

@534,670 (B)

I dabble in removal of sasquatch, fairies, faeries, nymphs, goblins, hobgoblins, elves, leprechauns, and gargoyles. I may be able to help you.

(Edited 1 minute later.)

·Anonymous B3 months ago, 18 hours later, 1 day after the original post[T] [B] #534,691

@previous (Honest Trü Lawyer)

I've set traps, but it manages to not trigger them or break free every time. The sasquatch bait I'm using seems to be working, but the only surefire way I know to get rid of them is to hire dogs with AK47s, but that's an even worse pest problem once they start recruiting house dogs into their ranks.

You might also offer your services for goblin removal to these people too. Even if you don't remove them you might be able to drum up a class action suit against gobbo gangs in the region.

@534,672 (C)
If never is when you're dealing with feathery buggery.

·Honest Trü Lawyer (OP) — 3 months ago, 7 hours later, 1 day after the original post[T] [B] #534,713

@previous (B)

Dogs with AK47s is just an unserious fraud bandage. Werewolves with battle axes are the only Honest Trü way to rid yourself of sasquatch. Though, Sasquatch would definitely be a welcome change of pace, after dealing with that problem.

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