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TinyChan

Topic: My Battles With Addiction, Mental Illness & Suicidal Ideation

+Ryan Rabbithole2 months ago #49,247

29ac4f16234bb13309f2f38c7d0655f4.jpgI was an alcoholic for many years, and it caused me to make lots of regrettable decisions, and to lose my friends, job, social standing, a 9-year relationship, and everything I hold dear.

Many times, I have contemplated and attempted suicide. I was admitted to the psychiatric ward at 3 different hospitals on at least 6 separate occasions. Cyber-bullying and online ‘trolling’ is largely to blame for this. I hear “Kill yourself, faggot/p.o.s./degenerate scum” in some variation ~20 times a-day.

I respect the trolls’ right to free speech, and am not trying to take that away; I am just asking that people be more sensitive and empathetic when interacting with vulnerable individuals online. Unless you’ve walked a mile in their shoes, you don’t know what demons they’re battling.

I have made a lot of bad decisions in the past, but I am endeavoring to make amends for them. Sometimes it feels like I’ve done irreversible damage and that my life is still unsalvagable, but I am choosing life, and divorcing myself from my old, obnoxious identity.

I am registered with the Canadian Mental Health Association, and am recovering with the aid of Social Workers, Psychiatrists, Addictions Counsellors, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Music Therapy. CMHA is a wonderful organization that hosts free recreational activities that afford reclusive people, such as myself, the opportunity to meet like-minded people.

I have also benefited from Depression and Autism chat rooms, where sympathetic persons have literally talked me out of suicide.
If anyone can relate to my struggles, I urge you to register with an agency like CMHA, and to be courageous and speak out about your challenges.

+Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U2 months ago, 6 minutes later[T] [B] #533,014

I didn't read this because I felt it was too long.

·Ryan Rabbithole (OP) — 2 months ago, 1 minute later, 8 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #533,015

Sorry, Father. Shall I succinctly confess my sins?

+Anonymous C2 months ago, 1 hour later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #533,017

Suicide is awesome! I can't wait to participate in such a great "end your life" fun!

·Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U2 months ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #533,018

@533,015 (Ryan Rabbithole)
By all means!

·Ryan Rabbithole (OP) — 2 months ago, 11 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #533,019

him-death.jpgA suicide pact sounds enticing. We could dress in Plague Doctor costumes, perform Occultist rituals, listen to fab, depressing music, and exchange cuts, play with each other's blood, and such.

·Ryan Rabbithole (OP) — 2 months ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #533,020

confession-booth.jpgFather,

I have committed nearly every conceivable sin. I have been unfaithful to past lovers. I have indulged in many inebriating substances. I have conned people and companies. I am an avid consumer of porn, although my tastes are ‘vanilla’. I have a nurse/medical fetish. I am repentant, but guilt-ridden. Does the Lord forgive me, Father?

·Father Merrin !u5oFWxmY7U2 months ago, 10 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #533,024

@previous (Ryan Rabbithole)
> Father,
>
> I have committed nearly every conceivable sin. I have been unfaithful to past lovers. I have indulged in many inebriating substances. I have conned people and companies. I am an avid consumer of porn, although my tastes are ‘vanilla’. I have a nurse/medical fetish. I am repentant, but guilt-ridden. Does the Lord forgive me, Father?

Yes, he does. Now if you are truly repentant (as you said you are), then go forth and sin no more. God bless you!

+Anonymous D 2 months ago, 19 hours later, 21 hours after the original post[T] [B] #533,065

@533,020 (Ryan Rabbithole)
repentance does not mean feeling guilty about something and continuing it..

·Ryan Rabbithole (OP) — 2 months ago, 1 minute later, 21 hours after the original post[T] [B] #533,066

What am I continuing?

I'll stop. I just want friends.

+Anonymous E2 months ago, 12 minutes later, 21 hours after the original post[T] [B] #533,068

@previous (Ryan Rabbithole)
Trust me on this. Random chan sites such as this one - Good for some laffs. Good for getting out some aggression - Even good for making a few long term net buds. But counting on a place like this is about as good as counting on the Devil herself

Good place for banter but do not count on it OTHER than to goof around

·Ryan Rabbithole (OP) — 2 months ago, 4 minutes later, 21 hours after the original post[T] [B] #533,069

Starting to see that. There's not much traffic on this website. Each post only gets around 20 views.

I'm just banned from all the other Chans for 'flooding', 'cancer', 'shit-posting', and repeated ban-evasion. I need an outlet for my thoughts and opinions, so I've been holding down the fort on TinyChan for the past couple weeks. I'll leave once my other bans are lifted.

·Anonymous D 2 months ago, 7 minutes later, 21 hours after the original post[T] [B] #533,071

@533,068 (E)
well said..

·Anonymous D 2 months ago, 1 minute later, 21 hours after the original post[T] [B] #533,072

@533,066 (Ryan Rabbithole)
I was talking about the porn..

I struggle with that problem myself..

·Anonymous E2 months ago, 2 minutes later, 21 hours after the original post[T] [B] #533,073

@533,069 (Ryan Rabbithole)
> 'flooding', 'cancer', 'shit-posting', and repeated ban-evasion

Karma dude just Karma. Best consider how you wood manage a site if you were a mod next time.

So like I go re-read your topic post and read
> Cyber-bullying and online ‘trolling’ is largely to blame for this. I hear “Kill yourself, faggot/p.o.s./degenerate scum” in some variation ~20 times a-day.

Dude this is stuff is about as common as pollen in the air. Ya better grow a pair of balls and learn to survive or NOT... Words just words.

If you are not up to simple words like kys - U best stay off the net cause that will end up on fail

(Edited 34 seconds later.)


·Anonymous D 2 months ago, 1 minute later, 21 hours after the original post[T] [B] #533,074

@533,069 (Ryan Rabbithole)
No reason you should feel wrong for coming here...the place could use more posters anyways..


minichan.org you should check that out also...many peeps post here and there..

(Edited 46 seconds later.)

·Anonymous D 2 months ago, 3 minutes later, 21 hours after the original post[T] [B] #533,075

@533,069 (Ryan Rabbithole)
think about it...whatever goof would tell someone they don't even know...to kill theirself...well that's just silly as fuck...do not take that kind of banality seriously..

·Anonymous E2 months ago, 4 minutes later, 21 hours after the original post[T] [B] #533,077

@previous (D)

minichan wood chew him up and spit him out but first they wood offer him the how to kill self for under $20 and it's $20 cause they are cheap bastards
:

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