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Topic: This is the reason why bert will never stop living as a bum.

+Anonymous A9 months ago #48,329

37 ways you’d be better off as a bum.

You don’t pay taxes on any money you collect
You don’t have a mortgage
You don’t have a boss
You can never get fired
You have zero debt
You can pick up and move anytime you want
You don’t have a car payment
You don’t get stuck in traffic jams
You’ll never break down on the motorway
You don’t have to pay bills
Or remember to pay bills
You don’t care about your credit report
You don’t get harassing calls from collection agencies
You don’t get calls…period
You don’t have to deal with junk mail
You don’t have to wake up to an annoying alarm
You don’t have to do laundry
You don’t get criticized for bad fashion choices
You don’t have email to check (Well, apart from PayPal dude)
You don’t have to wait three hours in security at the airport
You don’t have to attend parties with people you hate
You don’t have to fix yet another paper jam
You never have to sit through an ad featuring Billy Mays
You don’t have to vacuum
Or spring clean
Or scrub the toilet
You don’t get bothered by cell-phone salesmen in malls
You don’t care about identity theft
You don't give a crap about reality shows (you're living one every day)
Going to jail for the night means a warm bed and a meal
You've (probably) never heard of Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian
Newspapers are actually handy; and you can read them too
You don't care if gas hits $4 a gallon
Sell-by dates are your friend
Every cent is valuable to you; spare change is an oxymoron
Hair salons are a joke
You can say you're free...and mean it

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